Kisa na Mkasa

Jee unajua kuwa ukikua pua yako na masikio yako pia yanazidi kukua , kurefuka na kupanuka?

Hebu angalia wazee walio karibu na wewe utaona kuwa pua zao ni ndefu au zimepanuka.
Masikio yao pia ni marefu.
Ni sayansi hiyo!
Jee unajua kuwa macho peke yake ndio hayakui?
Tangu ulipozaliwa hadi sasa macho yako, yako vile vile, ukubwa ule ule.
Macho hayapanuki wala hayakui!

Mifupa ya Maiti Kitandani

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Kwanini basi masikio na pua vinakua?
Ukweli ni kwamba vyote havikui.
Pua haikui, masikio pia hayakui. Isipokuwa vyote vinavutika!
Pua na masikio huvutika vikielekea chini kadri umri unavyoongezeka!
Wanasayansi wanasema hii ni kutokana na nguvu ya mvuto au Force of Gravity, Mvuto wa kuelekea ardhini, Force of Gravity!
Hii nguvu ya mvuto kuelekea ardhini au force of gravity ni mbaya sana!
Nguvu hii ya asili ndio hufanya , nyama mwilini ikavutika au kusinyaa na macho kuonekana madogo.
Ukubwa wa macho ni ule ule bali yanaonekana madogo kwa sababu yameingia ndani kutokana na kuvutika kwa nyama kwenye uso wako, au sura yako.
Ukweli ni kwamba jinsi ulivyozaliwa macho yako yanasalia kuwa na ukubwa au udogo ule ule.
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Nguvu ya mvuto ni mbaya!
Ni nguvu hiyo ya Force of Gravity inafanya matiti ya wanawake kurefuka na kukosa ule umaridadi wake.
Sehemu nyeti za wanaume, sehemu za surualini pia hurefuka na kulegea kutokana na force of gravity, nguvu ya mvuto, mvuto wa kwenda ardhini.
Ardhini ulitoka na Ardhini utavutwa na kurudi huko,
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Mwanadamu ni kiumbe cha ajabu, kiumbe pekee, kiumbe kilicho barikiwa.
Wewe ni waajabu.
Asubuhi urefu wako huongezeka kwa sentimita moja.
Jua linavyopanda na wewe ukiendelea kuhangaika au kushughulika ,urefu wako nao unapungua kidogo kidogo.
Ifikapo jioni urefu wako huwa umepungua kwa sentimita moja.
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Wanasayansi wanasema kupungua au kuongezeka kwa urefu wa mwanadamu unatokana na gegedu kwenye miguu na magotini.
Gegedu, kwa kimombo ni cartilage , gegedu ni sehemu ipatikanayo mwishoni mwa mifupa ya miguu hasa kwenye magoti. Kwa wapendao nyama hii ni mifupa laini inayotafunika. Jua likipanda, magegedu magotini nayo yana nyauka au kufinyika na kupunguza urefu wa mtu.
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Jee unafahamu kuwa asilimia 41 ya wanawake hawazungumzi na mama wakwe zao. Mothers- in-law,
Asilima 41 hawana mahusiano mazuri na mama za wabwana zao. Hawazungumzi nao.
Utafiti unaonyesha kati ya wanawake 10, mmoja wao ana ugomvi na mama mkwe wake.- mother-in-law.
Utafiti uliofanywa na shirika la OnePoll la Uingereza unaonyesha kuwa ugomvi mkubwa kati ya mama mkwe na wake za vijana wao ni kutokana na usemi maarufu " sisi zama zetu tulikuwa tunafanya hivi au vile " .
Wanawake hawataki kuambiwa zama zile au kukosolewa mara kwa mara.
Utafiti huo pia unaonyesha kuwa nusu ya wanawake, washawalalamikia mabwana zao kuhusu kina mama zao, wazazi wa bwana wa kike.
Asilimia 15 ya wanawake wamewahi kukosana , ndoa kuvunjika kutokana na ugomvi kati ya mkwe na mama mkwe.
Ugomvi mkubwa zaidi kati ya mke na mama mkwe kuhusu malezi ya watoto, wajukuu.
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Elimu peke yake haitoshi kumpa mtu kazi.

Wanuswa kwapa kama mahojiano

Hata ujuzi pia hauna maana.
Huko ni China.
Shirika maarufu la Uchina, HAINAN AIRLINE limeweka masharti kwamba mbali na elimu na uzoefu lazima usinuke. Ukiwa mwili wako una harufu mbaya basi kazi huna. Ni China huko.
Kwa mujibu wa gazeti la SZ News shirika hilo katika kuajiri marubaNi wapya lazima mtu ananuswa makwapa.
Ukiwa unakikwapa, au makwapa yako yana harufu unanyimwa kazi.
Kabla ya kuajiriwa katika shirika hilo la ndege. Hatua ya kwanza ni kunuswa kwapa zako.
Wakuu wa shirika hilo wanajitetea wakisema, kwa vile marubani wanafanya kazi karibu zaidi na watu basi ni lazima wasiwe na harufu ya kutisha kwani harufu mbaya ya miili yao au makwapa huenda ikawapunguzia wateja.
Mama mmoja mwenye umri wa miaka 37 ameshitakiwa nchini Sweden kwa kufanya mapenzi na mifupa ya maiti.
Mama huyo pia alipatikana na makala aliyoaandika akifurahia kuwa mtu wa kwanza kufanya mapenzi na mifupa ya mtu aliyefariki dunia zaidi ya miaka 50 iliyopita.
Mkuu wa mashitaka Bi Kristina Ehrenborg-Staffas ameliambia shirika la habari la Reuters kuwa bibi huyo anakabiliwa na mashitaka ya kuvuruga amani ya marehemu.
Lakini mama huyo amejitetea akisema haoni kama amefanya kosa kwani anafurahi kufanya mapenzi na maiti.
Wakati alipokamatwa alipatokana akiwa na mifupa ya binadamu,mafuvu, na viungo vyengine.
Pia aliptikana na picha za vyumba vya maiti na makaburi.
Bibi huyo anasema ana mahaba makubwa na maiti.

Mandela kafanyiwa uperesheni wa kibofu

Ikulu ya rais wa Afrika Kusini inasema kuwa Nelson Mandela amefanyiwa uperesheni mjini Pretoria, kutolewa mawe ndani ya kibofu nyongo na anasemekana anaendelea vizuri.

Rais huyo wa zamani wa Afrika Kusini mwenye umri wa miaka 94, alilazwa hospitali juma moja lilopita kutibiwa mapafu, na ukaguzi ukaonesha mawe hayo kwenye kibofu.
Katika taarifa iliyotolewa na serikali, imearifiwa kuwa madaktari waliamua kushughulika na mapafu yake Bwana Mandela kwanza, kabla ya kufanyiwa upersheni wa Jumamosi.
Wakuu wa Afrika Kusini wamelaumiwa kuwa hawakuwa wakieleza hali ya Bwana Mandela, ambayo imechochea wasi-wasi zaidi kuhusu afya yake.

"I have no intention of becoming a woman": Mike Tyson sex change spoof fools African media

Spoof story reported "Iron Mike" had undergone a 16-hour sex change operation and changed his name to Michelle, the "Iron Maiden"

Former undisputed heavyweight champion of the world "Iron" Mike Tyson has issued a statement via an African website denying stories claiming he has had a sex change.
The bizarre story stems from a spoof news item from a British satirical website, which hoodwinked a number of online publications in Africa.
The NewsBiscuit story, titled "Mike Tyson sex change operation a 'complete success', say surgeons" , was inundated with hits after The Standard in Zimbabwe and SpyGhana both reported the news as fact.
Zambian website Zambia Watchdog is also thought to have published the story, but it has subsequently been removed.
Quotes attributed to Tyson in the story stated: "Some people might think it strange that I’m now a woman.
"But even at the height of my career, when pound for pound I was regarded as the best fighter in the world, I never lost touch with my feminine side and knew that one day I would grow breasts and have a vagina."
However, Tyson has since been quoted on SpyGhana as saying: "I am still a man and I have always been fully in touch with my masculinity and have no intention of becoming a woman.
"The claims are not only untrue but unbelievably stupid. I was at the Pacquiao-Marquez fight on Saturday and any reasonable person could tell I was looking like a man."
The story went on to suggest he wanted to replace his long-standing nickname of "Iron Mike" with "Iron Maiden", and change his name from Mike to Michelle after a successful 16-hour operation.
Comic writer John O'Farrell from NewsBiscuit told the BBC: "We've had half as many visitors from Africa in the last few days as we'd expect generally in a whole month."